Oy With the Swans Already
by thecollegiatedork
Summary: Jess' second encounter with the local swan goes just about as well as the first. SUPER fluff.


"I fucking swear, that swan has a personal vendetta against me," Jess snapped as he flopped down onto his bed, holding a bag of frozen peas to his left eye.

"Language," Luke said sternly-or as sternly as he could while trying to keep a straight face.

Soft morning light filtered through the windows. It was early, much too early to go out to the dock and read if you asked Luke, but Jess had some inexplicable habits, what with his always taking off so often and his ongoing feud with the local swan.

Luke put on his baseball cap, planted his hands on his hips, and faced Jess. "Okay now, quit pouting and let me see it. Diner opens in five and I have to make sure you haven't gone blind." He approached Jess and reached for the bag of peas.

"I'm not pouting," Jess retorted, twisting away from Luke. "And I'm fine. It's that swan that's gotta watch out for itself after this."

"We'll avenge you after closing time," Luke said, rolling his eyes. Really, Jess was too overdramatic sometimes for his own good. "So…you'll be fine today?" Luke asked, just to be sure.

"I _am_ wounded—I deserve at least a day off…"

" _Jess_ ," Luke sighed wearily.

"Relax, I wouldn't dream of missing a day with Uncle Luke," Jess quipped dryly.

"Alright," Luke said, patting his nephew lightly on the knee. "Come down soon."

* * *

Jess laid where he was for a minute after Luke had left before gathering the motivation to sit up. He winced as he slowly lowered the pea bag from his face and blinked, frowning.

Jess could feel his contact lens swimming about in his bruised eye, distorting Luke's apartment.

"Crap," Jess muttered for perhaps that thousandth time that morning. He reached up and grimaced as he carefully extracted the contact, another expletive slipping out when he caught the tear splitting the lens halfway.

"Aw, come on," Jess muttered.

With his good eye, Jess looked about the apartment for his glasses.

Jess didn't wear them much while living with Liz—they broke too often—but things were calmer at Luke's. Luke was usually (and embarrassingly) mindful of Jess' glasses, plucking them off Jess' face whenever he fell asleep reading or reminding Jess where he'd put them in those rare instances Jess would misplace them.

It appeared as though today was one of those rare instances as Jess searched the nightstand beside his bed and the floor beneath it to no avail.

Jess was digging through the pockets in his jacket when Luke called out from downstairs.

"Jess! Come on! I need you to serve customers, not get ready for the Queen!"

"I can't find my glasses," Jess shouted back, but from the lack of reply, Luke had probably already gone back to the morning rush in the diner.

Jess stared hopelessly all the drawers he'd opened and the books he'd shifted in his fruitless search before standing up, wincing at the stab of nausea that ran through him as he did so.

His contact was still in his right eye, still keeping everything just focused enough so Jess could partially see, but now his mind spun as it tried to adjust to the different vision in each eye.

Jess took the remaining contact out, looking about him as world took on its familiar blur. He'd find his glasses later, Jess decided as he started towards the general direction of the stairs. In the meanwhile, a few hours without them could hardly hurt—Jess totally got this.

* * *

It was an uncommonly busy day at the diner, with people filtering in and out as the town prepared itself for another festival.

 _Just how many of these things did Stars Hollow have?_ Jess wondered as he poured Taylor another cup of coffee. He couldn't make out the words on the posters littering the man's table, but from the number of colorful stars—all muddled to Jess-scattered over them, Jess came to the conclusion that he didn't want to know.

Jess rubbed at the dull ache that had sprung up behind his eyes and resided there for the past hour as he stepped away from Taylor's table and grabbed a plate waiting at the counter. Luke nodded to him tiredly as he passed by. His uncle was on the phone, the cord slightly tangled around him, looking frazzled as he simultaneously counted out change for a customer.

With everything going on in the diner today, neither of them had been able to catch a break for very long, and while wiping down tables and putting plates in front of customers were easy enough when he wasn't mistaking one blob of a sandwich for another, Jess couldn't say that he wasn't relieved they were closing soon.

"What do you mean they won't be in by tomorrow?" Jess glanced up as Luke paused his attempt to untangle himself from the phone's cord, the exasperation in his tone apparent.

"Surely we can work something out. Now? Oh yes, let me just drop everything and let the diner fall to anarchy," Luke said sarcastically as he took off his cap and ran his fingers through his thinning hair. A nervous habit.

Jess snapped back to attention as a wrinkled hand gently touched his wrist. "Um, excuse me dear, but this isn't mine."

Jess frowned and subtly squinted at the sandwich on the plate he just set down. Despite his best efforts, all Jess could make out was a beige smudge that he guessed could have been a sandwich.

"You wanted the ham on rye?" he asked just to make sure. "And this is…"

"Tomato," the elderly lady supplied helpfully.

"Right. My mistake, then," he said, feeling the ache behind his eyes start to dig into his brain as he whisked the plate away.

Jess arrived at the counter just as Luke sharply slammed the phone back into its cradle. He raised a questioning eyebrow at his uncle. Luke heaved a world weary sigh. "Somehow, the deliveries we were supposed to get tomorrow got messed up. And Chuck wants me to come over and deal with this now, but he doesn't understand how damn busy today's been and— "

"So go," Jess interrupted. Already Jess regretted the prospect of having to interact with an entire diner of customers alone, however though it was customary for Jess to make life as difficult (read: interesting) as possible for his long suffering uncle, Jess wasn't heartless.

"You sure?" Luke stared at him dubiously.

"I won't burn the place down, if that's what you're worried about," Jess muttered, looking away embarrassed as Luke's face suddenly broke out into that "I'm so proud of you" grin that despite his lack of glasses, Jess could still see and hate as much as he would have even if his vision wasn't crappy.

"No, no I'm not worried about that. Just… look at you, taking up responsibility, being Mr. Reliable as the folks down at Walmart would say," Luke said, nudging at Jess jestingly.

"Alright, I changed my mind. This place will be cinders by the time you come back," Jess decided as he put down the plate he'd been holding and pushed Luke out the door.

* * *

Luke was still gone by the time Jess kicked the last straggler out the door, said goodbye to Caesar, and flipped the sign on the door to "closed".

Jess sagged against the door in relief as he surveyed the now empty diner, the exhaustion just now crashing over him.

As Jess started towards the apartment, his eyes fell on the stack of receipts that still had to be processed for Luke's books.

After contemplating stashing the receipts away for later and tell Luke he did them anyway, Jess sighed and grabbed the entire stack and a notepad and continued up the stairs.

Jess' side of the room was still a mess from that morning, however despite his usual tendency for neatness, Jess found that he couldn't bring himself to start picking up right then as he slowy pushed his pile of jackets, CDs, and books aside with his foot and threw himself on his bed.

Jess rolled himself onto his back and stared at the receipts he still held in his hand. His and Luke's blurry handwriting seemed to crawl and slither off the page. Jess pressed his other palm to his eyes, wincing as he accidentally touched his bruise, as his brain seemed to pound against his skull in protest of going a minute longer without his glasses.

"Jeez," he muttered, and shifted to the left side of his bed. Jess leaned down, hanging dangerously off the edge now, and let his fingers brush against the floor in a half-hearted attempt to continue his search from before.

Suddenly, the door to the apartment swung open and Jess unthinkingly jerked upwards, hitting his head against his nightstand.

"Mother of fu—"

"Language!" Luke barked before Jess could finish his thought. Jess just scowled and held the back of his head. He gritted his teeth together as the pounding in his head worsened.

Luke entered the room, his eyes taking in everything from Jess' belongings scattered across the floor to Jess' pained expression, before rushing over to his nephew.

"Jesus, Jess what happened? Are you okay?" Luke stood by Jess' side, his hands hovering uncertainly.

"Peachy, thanks," Jess bit out. He hesitated before continuing. "I just… can't find my glasses," he finished lamely.

Luke blinked at this, the dots connecting in his brain. "Jess, did you spend the entire day _blind_?"

"I wasn't blind—I could still see somewha—It was that stupid swan," Jess said, trying to keep the heat from rising to his cheeks as he remembered just how he got into this situation in the first place.

Luke studied Jess for a moment, before smiling to himself softly.

"Are you making that face again?" Jess glared at Luke suspiciously.

"Come on, you love it," Luke said patting Jess on the shoulder before he straightened up, clapped his hands together, and looked around the apartment a second time.

Luke took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"Alright, Velma, let's find your glasses."

Jess rolled his eyes, grinning wryly in spite of himself. "Okay, settle down Fred."

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, I know Jess doesn't canonically have glasses, but wouldn't it be nice?**


End file.
